H. R. H.: Pen Pictures of the Leading Events of the Last Week, from Chicago Tribune
(Published Feb 26, 1893)

" … they are not incorrect."

I solo worked our candidate's booth at the fair, casting for and reeling in potential voters. I'd learned the technique watching The Muse last year when she was running for the position of Port Commissioner, an election she went on to win. The Muse is a naturally gifted retail politician, which means she can attract attention and gain support. Not every candidate comfortably projects themself onto others, and not every potential voter necessarily appreciates a candidate reeling them in. She'd ask innocuously: "Are you a voter here?" The answer winnowed out the many out-of-town visitors to our fair. Anyone answering was hooked. Many remained oblivious, almost invisible, as they moved through the crowd. She could usually tell if someone was conservative because they'd turn their head a quarter turn away, deliberately not seeing her there, casting into the crowd. They'd become deaf, too, suddenly unable to hear her question.

Those who responded could be reeled in with a follow-on question, and some would soon find themselves engaged in good-hearted conversation. The Muse was not beyond chasing down some hesitant fish, catching up to them several booths down and chatting there. I was in her booth to back up when she roamed further afield. This activity energized her, though I swore it would very likely kill me to so engage. I was surprised to find that the few times I was required to fish, I'd catch my share and even manage a few remarkable conversations. Almost everyone wants to tell their story, and there's probably no better way to tell your story than to engage with someone trying to share theirs. Conversation was never a zero-sum game, and well-played, everybody gets heard. The Muse might have been fishing for voters, but she played by catch-and-release rules.

I was experiencing some success and even managing some memorable conversations. I've grown comfortable enough in my skin that I can sing the praises of almost anybody just as long as I don't have to promote myself. It's a curious property that my enthusiastic extroversion ends just about where I begin. I can endlessly speak of any number of third parties but praise myself for barely an embarrassed second. A tall man in a camo hat cruised by, eying the booth. A cue, I thought, that he might have a story to share. I gestured him in, but he refused. When I tried to insist, he pointed to his hat. I asked what he meant by that, and he pointed to his hat again. Still clueless, I shrugged and asked, "What does it say?" He replied that it said F_J_B. "What does that mean?" I innocently replied, to which he mouthed, "Fuck Joe Biden."

"Why?" I asked. "What has Joe ever done to you?" He smirked in reply. "He's produced the best economy in memory," I continued. He smirked again, shaking his head as if he was sorry for me. "Really?” I implored, "I didn't get the memo. I can't see what Joe's done to earn an ounce of your enmity." He looked back at me with pity, shook his head again, and kept walking.

I had been honest with him. I had not gotten the memo. I'd heard the phrase, sure, but couldn't parse the intent. I hadn't understood the justification for the sentiment, and I still can't, even after searching for and finding the source material explaining the phrase. It has been adopted by people who wrongly believe the COVID-19 vaccine worsened the epidemic and that Trump's laissez-faire strategy hadn't resulted in hundreds of thousands of casualties. Egged on by maniacs like Robert Kennedy, Jr and many other shadow representatives of essentially nobody, there's now a small army of hyper-dedicated conspiracy theorists supporting the sentiment without an ounce of actual evidence. Biden committed an unforgivable atrocity. According to their theory, he screwed up the border, too, by focusing on root causes and refusing to become distracted by popular notions that building walls might make a meaningful difference. In other words, in this election cycle, F_J_B stands for The Know Nothing Party's allegiance to self-destructive lies.

I had honestly hoped to engage that fellow in some conversation, for I was truly curious about his reasoning. However, others have counseled me to save my breath, that I'd find no reasoning supporting such sentiments. These resonate from raw emotions and feral reactions to complex systems. Some need simple explanations and imprint on them in lieu of learning or understanding. Not everyone can afford to know better and so insist upon worse. It might just be more convenient for them to believe some absolutely fantastical explanation of some relatively routine situation than to accept that they might have to be wrong in order to learn something. This election cycle is between the Know Nothings and reason, between nihilism and real freedom, the abiding freedom from being forced to accept somebody else's definition. It's freedom from rather than freedom to do things like characterize wisdom as stupidity and generosity as stinginess to subjugate somebody.

Fuck You, man in the F_J_B hat. You were a sucker I tried to hook, and when I didn't, I felt glad. You were no upstanding trout or salmon. I was not trying to hook every fish, only the more choice samples, those able and willing to engage in a little conversation and perhaps learn something. To those who explained that they were Republicans, I could express my heartfelt belief that their condition need not be permanent and that there's always a chance for recovery and salvation. It's the very soul of Grace that our mistakes sometimes morph into cures. Later in the day, I spotted a disheveled young man walking down the street with a young child. The man's tee shirt read, "Fuck You, you fucking fuck." I wondered how I might have grown up if I'd been exposed to such an adult as a child. The F-bomb, as it's now popularly called, has lost its historical impact, toothless from overuse and essentially meaningless. Not even the matron aunties bat an eyelash when encountering it now, though they still consider anyone using it ignorant, and they are not incorrect.

©2024 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #Grace, #PureSchmaltz