Ryūryūkyo Shinsai:
Boy Writing (Edo period, 1615-1868)

Stumble Into An Ownership
Experience doesn't very deeply influence some things. This week, I almost finished my twenty-fifth series, Honing, but nothing I'd ever experienced before properly prepared me for this almost event. I should have become accustomed to nearly finishing by now, but it remains a shocking and unsettling experience, not even the same way once. I started this series thirteen weeks ago and struggled, as I always do, to feel as though it belonged to me. I created the first stories as an imposter, holding my breath while hoping not to be discovered. I grew into their author, only recently feeling as though they might somehow come from and belong to me. It was never different. I crawl before walking and walk before I fly. I finally fly only to discover that I've run out of sky. The allotted time for this series is over, and I dare not linger over the carcass. This is how this writer experiences accomplishment. I finally stumble into an ownership, only to forfeit it to start my mystery anew.

Weekly Writing Summary

I began my writing week aspiring to tell a BetterStory. "Keeping score seems to be one of the better ways to undermine the quality of one's experience and one's stories."

Lewis Wickes Hine: Climbing up the Beams on the Empire State-100 Stories Up (1931)

" … it will only be my legacy."
—
As I always do this time of year, I spent some time ReConsidering Reconsidering Again, whether to continue this daily writing practice. "I could no more choose not to create series twenty-six than I could decide to stop meditating after forty-eight years of daily dedication to that practice. Ceasing couldn't undo anything produced in error. Nor would it erase any worthy accomplishment."

studio of Rembrandt van Rijn:
A Bearded Man Wearing a Hat (c. 1655–1660)

" … without any meaningful answer."
—
I wrote of my curious relationship with my writing. Why do I engage in this infinite effort? I concluded that I engaged in pursuit of Betterment. " I just wanted to see if I could stumble into an original story every morning. I never once intended for it to become my legacy."

Paula Modersohn-Becker:
Portrait of a Peasant Woman (1898/99)

"I've written plenty, but that only matters if I'm still writing."
—
I reported on a recent difficulty focusing my attention enough to accomplish read Reading. "If writers write, they first read, for reading was how they learned how words properly fit together. Reading provided an education no professor could ever design, for it could only occur preconsciously, surreptitiously sneaking in behind the plotline. While suitably distracted, synapses retracted and realigned, shaping the mind a writer must possess to successfully produce anything."

Édouard Manet: Woman Reading (1880/81)

" … successful distraction might disrupt anything, even distraction itself."
—

I described the most curious of the many familial relationships, Estrangement "Two parties separated by ethical or moral differences constitute the more irreconcilable of distances because to close that gap requires an unethical or immoral act. How dare that other insist I sin to preserve our terms and conditions!"

Charles Émile Jacque:
Entrance to an Inn, with Peasant Drinking (1849)

"We remain related regardless …"
—
I catalogued a few of the beliefs I once held in UsedTos. "I UsedTo believe in the primacy of Purpose. Now I believe it's at best a nice to have and no tragedy when absent."

Rembrandt van Rijn:
The Sampling Officials of the Amsterdam Drapers’ Guild,
Known as ‘The Syndics’ (1662)

"I UsedTo be an innocent, but now I'm more experienced."
—
I denied that I am an actor on a stage and spent this next-to-last installment of this Honing Series explaining how to cope with this analogous universe in ExitStageLeft. "How much richer our lives might become if we could steadfastly refuse to take anything literally, anything at its unavoidably misleading face value."

Edgar Degas: On Stage I (1876)
" … one final curtain call for this production that never actually was."
—
The concluding week of any activity should properly encourage wide-ranging considerations, and this writing week proved to be no exception. The anticipation of an ending and an impending new beginning amplifies the importance of even the more subtle elements of living. This week popped out in sharp relief for me, highlighting both my gifts and my dilemmas. I began by declaring my intention to produce BetterStories, then set about Reconsidering Reconsidering Again in an attempt to determine if I have been succeeding. I concluded that I have been pursuing the somewhat fuzzy objective of Betterment. I declared the distraction that has successfully kept me from Reading as a writer really should. I took a detour through the troubling works of Estrangement, which proved even stranger than I expected. I stumbled through a few of my more prominent UsedTos before finally ExitingStageLeft a day early, calendars being more analogous than literal. I expect to return to finish this series tomorrow. Thank you for following along!

©2023 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #Honing, #PureSchmaltz