Julia Rogers: Three Graces (1939 - 1943)

" … each seems willing to show up for the cast party following each performance."

I might not live that elegant of a life, but I aspire to live a Graceful one. Not necessarily a well-choreographed or excellently executed existence, but at least a decent one. The presence of Grace in my life might ensure such a fate, for Grace smoothes over otherwise obvious imperfections. The object of life doesn't seem to be perfection but something much closer to imperfection instead. We seem to be given imperfections with the intention of perfecting them. Not to make them perfect, but, as Lincoln insisted, to make them somehow more perfect than before we encountered them. We try to improve. Not all of our efforts succeed, nor do we necessarily intend to succeed in handling all of them. We fail plenty, then begin again, perhaps more humbly than we initially engaged. There might be more Graceful potential in any odd failure than in any unbridled success. Remember, blessèd are the poor, weak, meek, and destitute. Those in desperate need of Grace seem quite naturally to employ it better.

My summer has been a fairly unextraordinary one. The Muse and I engaged in political campaigning. We began the great front porch refurbishing project if only to add additional frustration to our lives. I struggled to keep our yard adequately watered. I bought a pickup, the first domestically manufactured vehicle I've ever owned, and almost sold our Lexus, the luxury sedan I had been using as a pickup before. Unwanted insights were liberally sprinkled throughout my experiences. Their unwanted nature somehow amplified their potential Grace. Grace generally takes place after something otherwise untoward occurs. It serves as the rest of a story that often already seems finished. It comes as a coda to the rest of the symphony, a tag-along ending out of context to the rest of the performance. It often includes some salvation, reassurance that whatever it was couldn't have been quite as catastrophic as it seemed before. It closes the door on that chapter in a way that makes it more than forgettable. With a Graceful exit, even the horrible might become more warmly memorable.

Further, Graceful ensues when reflecting on something like an entire summer filled with curiously memorable experiences. What might have been nothing more than a routine existence—if such a thing has ever existed—becomes somehow epic. Maybe not The Odyssey epic, but somehow certainly greater than its constituent parts seemed, as if somehow having been well worth living. Even a summer I often characterized as my Summer Of Disappointment. I kicked and screamed my way through much of it, discouraged by the weather, disheartened by the progress on our refurbishing project, and frustrated with the campaign with which The Muse and I were working. These feelings seem less warranted in retrospect. I know how some of those plotlines turned out, so I can appreciate when I was clearly over-reacting. I discouraged myself until I didn't. I also disheartened and frustrated myself, too; however, clearly, I felt some external force was victimizing me. Later, some Gracefulness intruded and settled down the steaming controversy, and all was suddenly much more right with my world. I wonder now what encouraged me to veer so far left before steering right again.

Grace demands nothing in return for her intrusions. She sort of insists that I not get too far ahead of myself. In those instances where I think I can foresee my future, she mocks me and my unwarranted certainty. She remembers when I was so confident before and recalls how that episode didn't necessarily end well. She also recalls how her coda kicked in, where her curtain call brought her into focus, and how she resolved the steaming controversy. It was often, if not necessarily always, the case that what might have started sideways more than straightened out by the finish. How that occurred might always remain a mystery, but that it happened should be an abiding reassurance. Grace and Gracefulness continually stalk us and stalk us more insistently than any monster we might imagine encountering. If I can stay a little closer to myself and not get too awfully far ahead of my existence, I might avoid considerable future disappointment. I probably won't.

Let the record show that my Summer of Disappointment couldn't last until the first day of Autumn. It extinguished shortly before summer's symphony ended with a surprise coda, and summer ended mostly righted toward my world. The disappointment might have been a necessary context for me to learn and retain what I really needed to comprehend and remember for later. It might have been nothing more than one of those episodes of dark humor the universe routinely dispenses to us. It might not be for me to say. I can say, though, that creating this Grace series became an act of Grace itself, and I feel grateful to have stumbled into its context. I also appreciate having been subjected to its Grace. May I not forget so quickly next time, or may Grace continue to append my disappointing and discouraging experience when I do forget quickly. The three graces, grace, beauty, and charm, might not necessarily characterize all my behavior. I might not always first seem to make all that Graceful of an exit, but each seems willing to show up for the cast party following each performance.

©2024 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #Grace, #PureSchmaltz