David Deuchar:
Man Wearing an Apron, Talking with a Boy
(18th-19th century)

" … I just have to try your patience first."

I tend to be a tough sell. Try as anyone might, I often prove inconvincable by any means, or any means other than one. In the end, if I am to be convinced, it just has to be me doing the convincing. I mean I have to TalkMyselfInto it, whatever it is. I need to find my own damned reason and cannot ever quite countenance acquiescing to anyone else's. I suspect my apparent stubbornness stems from my sense that I'm natively gullible, too easily persuaded or goaded into doing what's not always best for myself. I hate to say it, but I distrust. Last night at dinner, a trainee waiter admitted that he was upselling, an admission that undermined his purpose, but he was still learning. I would that everyone attempting sales could engage so transparently. I don't mind being upsold as much as I resent being fooled. Why do salespeople seem to treat honesty as their enemy?

I often simply fail to understand at first. I just don't catch on to the game being played, even if nobody's really playing a game. I'm very slow to engage. I tend to favor the current status quo unless I can find some compelling reason to change. Note that I said."I need to find." The problem with salespersons tends to be that they feel the need to find for, rather than help another find their own damned reason to buy. They overwhelm my reasoning, flooding it with perhaps excellent reasons, but their reasons, not mine. Their reasons do not matter, and they do nothing to inform my choice. I only need one good reason to agree, but it has just gotta be my reason, nobody else's, however well-intended the offers.

Only I understand how to coax the scared little man who has to understand before an agreement can be reached. Just so you know: only I have requisite experience influencing him. He only seems to genuinely trust me. If I'm not convinced, I cannot hope to convince him, for he'll continue to ask hard questions long after I sense agreement might be forthcoming. If I'm an introvert requiring patience, that shy little man inside demands the patience of Job from me and even more from anybody trying to influence any consequential decision through me. I've learned and learned to respect that for him, there never really was any such thing as an inconsequential decision. He can't do throw-aways, and therefore, neither can I.

I have consequently become a patient man. Deadlines have little effect on me. If I must decide in the next five minutes or lose the opportunity of a century, I will gladly forfeit the opportunity. For me, it seems to always be about due process. I need my cogitation time. I simply must consider. I have almost no whim left in my system if I ever did have any to speak of. I prefer my transitions smooth rather than ragged. I won't voluntarily turn on a dollar, let alone a dime. I need to understand what I will have to leave behind if I choose different. I want to comprehend the payment schedule before I sign. I need to integrate what I'll lose—and there's always loss involved; it's an immutable law of the universe—before I agree to pursue any improvement. When I agree, I guarantee that I'm all in. I will not even think of trying to weasel my way out again, but take advantage of me, and I will never forget. More importantly, that scared, shy little fellow within me to whom I ultimately answer will seem just that much more intractable next time. So, I just have to try your patience first.

©2023 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #iAlogue , #PureSchmaltz