I’d forgotten what I’d lost in the great dislocation. I’d packed up the old place with what passed for great care, but some precious possessions seemed to have simply evaporated. I missed them at first, spending idle hours searching through unlikely boxes hoping to find. I even found a few. But through recent years, several items were left aching to be found.

These lost possessions possessed me more than the stuff I’d never mislaid. I’d find myself daydreaming about ‘em, which creeped me out, but I can’t deny that they’d passed well into obsession territory. Most of these ‘things’ were books which I supposed held the key to one mystery or another. One contained lyrics to my earliest songs, only a few of which make me cringe now. My journals footnote my passage, but not if they’re stuffed in the bottom of a mislabeled box.

I also found parts of myself I’d forgotten I ever possessed. I’m a ‘pile it on top of my desk’ sort of guy, secure in the knowledge that I could lay my hands on any piece of paper if I really needed to. Transfer that pile to a file or a moving box, and I retain no memory of the contents, so opening those boxes labeled David’s Desktop somehow reinstated me in space and time. Found One!

I realize now that the exile affected me more than I’d supposed. Like losing vision in one eye, my remaining eye quickly resolved my perspective. I never once felt like I was seeing only half of what was there. I could see it all, but without the subtle depth so familiar I’d not noticed it leaving. I’m really noticing it returning again.

I’ve been finding so much, my Christmas came early and might be over already. I’d never considered regifting stuff to myself, but here I am, opening presents from my past, feeling especially blessed.

©2012 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: Homefull Homeless